Sometimes, I Just Want 12 MInutes

Wouldn't 12 minutes alone be, dare I say, heavenly? I mean, a person can only listen to so much screaming, wipe so many butts, mend so many broken hearts, and cook so many batches of macaroni and cheese before she NEEDS really ought to take something crazy like a whole dozen minutes to herself.

Then you know what happens? After I tell my kids that Mommy has to go potty and then lock myself in the bathroom for the aforementioned 12 minutes, I start to feel guilty. Shouldn't I be out there relishing every single moment with them? Somewhere in my brain I say YES! I completely should be. There will be a point in time when they won't want to look at my face, let alone have me read a book to them or snuggle on my lap.

And I DO want to do all those things. But sometimes, somewhere in the back of my head, I just want to be alone for a few minutes. With silence.

My Job

Did I mention I'm a licensed in-home childcare provider? I decided on this profession (for the time being) so that I didn't have to put my own children in daycare and although Blue Man has a pretty great job, his income wouldn't cover our expenses so I couldn't be "just" a stay-at-home mom. This is sort of the best of both worlds at times, and a pain in the royal ass at others.

My kids seem to always come second. Which sucks.

There's a lot of mayhem.

I kind of wish I could have my house back (instead of having our "extra" bedroom - that should be Puppy's room) as the daycare / teaching room).

While I love kids, other people's screaming children aren't always as charming as you'd think they'd be.

Also, sometimes I wish I could take a nap.

Parent Teacher Conference

Tonight was Parent / Teacher Conference night for Zoe. Of course, Monkey had hurt her arm in some dramatic way late in the afternoon so that left me teetering on making the decision whether she should go to the emergency room or not. If we went, we would have to reschedule the conference. If we didn't, what would she be like during the conference (we had cleared it with Zoe's teacher beforehand that both girls could come).

She's, for the most part, screaming in pain most of the afternoon and early evening (even through dinner, which is one of her three favorite meals of the day). What else is there to do but take her to the conference and maybe to the ER after.

We get to the school, begin our conference, and lo and behold, Monkey forgets she's hurt and starts exploring Zoe's classroom. She hasn't complained of any pain since.

In other great news, Zoe is advanced to a late first grade / early second grade level in many areas, so says her teacher. My first reaction was, "I wonder if she's getting bored in class." Teacher assured me that Zoe's social skills are great and she's not one to cause trouble if she already knows the answers to the work. She'll just complete it and wait patiently (!?!?) for the other children to finish.

I wanted to ask Teacher, "Which kid are you talking about again?" Patience and Zoe don't go hand-in-hand. She assured me that Zoe is pretty much a perfect angel at school.

Which, really - if kids are going to misbehave, don't you want them to be doing it at home, for you, instead of at school for the teacher and 20 students to see?

I thought so.

What's My Purpose?

You know how sometimes you're in a situation and you think, "I wonder if anyone else has felt like this?" Well that's why I'm starting this blog. I often wonder if any other women out there feel the way I feel. If you look over to the right you'll find (eventually) the people you'll hear about most frequently in this blog. (For the record, I hate the word "blog." I think it sounds fecal somehow.)

I've been married to the A for something like 12 years. Maybe it's 11 and it might be 13. I always seem to forget. Ok, I just did the math. At the beginning of 2011 will be our 12th anniversary. I'm no good with math.

We met in a hockey chat rooms and to be honest with you I don't even know if chat rooms exist anymore. But when I was in my early 20s they were all the rage. We met, fell in love, I quit school to move half a country away from everything I knew and 13ish years and 2 kids later, look at us! Still going strong despite some ups and downs.

Zoe is a wonderful child and I thank her often for making me a mommy. That doesn't mean she doesn't grate on my nerves sometimes (there's confession #1!!) and my joy at being her mother doesn't mean that she doesn't make me want to scream sometimes. Because she does. All of that stuff. But she is a sweet, kind-natured person and I'd like to think I've had something to do with that.

Monkey (what a dreadful name for my youngest child) is 2 and FULL of life. She's in her puppy phase and (confession #2!) I admit that I sometimes trick her into doing things all in the name of what "a good puppy would do." (Example, "Can you show me how a good puppy gets up in her carseat?") 9 times out of 10 it works and she does what I want her to do and even gives me a few barks. She's a free-spirited child and is independent. She's not the cuddler her sister is (unless it's on her terms). When she wants to be left alone, LOOK OUT! (Zoe never wants to be left alone).

Honestly I don't know if I'll ever get any followers, but if I do, you'll find out more about everyone as time goes on. PLEASE COMMENT! I'd love to hear back from anyone!!